Breaking My Radio Silence (aka, why Kelley has been a shoddy blogger)

So now I can come clean and tell you what has been going on.  For years, we have talked and prayed about me leaving corporate America to stay home with the kids.  And for years, it has just not been possible.  

Until this year.  

This year, it was no longer just a hope or long-shot dream.  Major bills were paid off.  Finances and budgets changed.  Sacrifices were made (I didn't know just how much my husband loved me until he ended his ten year love affair with DirecTV and the NFL Sunday ticket, which allowed him to watch his Vikings every Sunday) and a plan put into action.  Alliances with my employer were ended in favor of a Triple Play package that saves so much more per month on phone, internet and TV (although I would be happy with just internet since we never answer the home phone and I rarely watch TV).

This decision wasn't something we were ready to share publicly as we really weren't certain exactly when I could give notice.  So for months, I have been a shoddy blogger.  I have lacked motivation to sit at my torch because I felt like I was in limbo, unable to move forward with our plans.  I'm pretty much an All Or Nothing kinda girl.  If I can't be forthright, or put my all into something, then I just withdraw.  It parallels my philosophy that if I have nothing nice to say, then I'll shut up before saying something I will regret.

Today was my last day with the phone company, ending a career over just over 11.5 years.  This morning ended with a team meeting with my peers that left me in tears as we said how much we would miss each other.  And then one last conference call with a great customer.  The last week has been filled with goodbyes as I have reached out to folks I have known and worked with for close to 14 years.  Some were at my wedding and others were at the hospital two years later, holding our firstborn when he was less than an hour new.  I have made great relationships with so many coworkers, as well as customer contacts and that is what I will miss the most.  I will not miss the stress of 24x7 position which has stretched over the last ten years.  Or the ring of a blackberry that has raised my heart rate, interrupted family dinners, weekend soccer games or confined me to a bathroom all day one Thanksgiving many years ago.  For the last 11.5 years, I have carried two phones with me at all times.  For the past week, I have not had to use my blackberry and it has felt very weird.

Today I handed back my laptop, blackberry and employee ID.  A weight hasn't lifted.  This doesn't feel real.  Not yet.  Maybe being able to talk about this will make it feel real.  Or maybe it will just take moving into a new routine for it to feel real.  I'm not sure.  But I can tell you I haven't once second guessed the choice we made or doubted that the future will hold anything less than the great things we we expect to encounter.

So what is this road ahead, you ask?  It will be weekday mornings filled with torch time melting glass and making beads.  It will be daily walks with Little Horse, helping us both get back in shape.  It will be regular blog posts and shop updates.  It will be field trips and lunches shared with my kids.  It will be days spent growing my photography business.  It will be afternoon hours spent reading stories to my kids' classes.  But mostly, it will be afternoons spent meeting my kids at the bus stop, helping them with their homework and then taking them on adventures.  

We will take hikes on the nature trail, explore new playgrounds and find the library on a weekly basis.  It's disgraceful that my kids are about to turn 7 and 9 and I have never once taken them to the library.  I will be working to help them forget this past life with two working parents, who barely had time to read them a story between picking them up from an after-school program, making dinner and getting baths (if we were lucky!) before rushing into bedtimes.  I am looking forward to a slower pace, where I can enjoy my children and create a calmer, less-rushed household.  And one where my kids are larger contributors to helping our family function.

I am looking forward to being here on a daily basis.  I am looking forward to getting to know you all again.  I am looking forward to so much right now.

Ok, now it feels more real that I have come clean and shared with you.  I'm getting super excited.  Thank you for coming here and reading along.  I hope you will accept my apologies for my silence and understand.

Tomorrow, I will be busy photographing all of the lentils and other beads to share on the blog with you (hopefully before lunchtime on the East Coast).  A shop update will be hitting at 8pm EDT tomorrow night.  This will be my last Friday night update.  Going forward, I plan on having weekly shop updates at 2pm ET on Thursdays.

Awesome Blog Award

I received this from Gunilla last week.  Thanks Gunilla!

I am to post 7 things about myself that you may not know.

1.  I took piano lessons for ten years as a child.  I once played a duet in Spivey Hall at Clayton State College with Mr. Roger's wife.  I was able to teach myself most of a Bach invention, but never finished.  I got just a few measures from the end. 

2.  I was born in Chicago, moved to St. Charles (the first Capital of Missouri), then to Salt Lake City for a year and finally to Atlanta.  I have been here since 1983 and still do not consider myself a Southerner.

3.  I know how to crochet, but don't know how to knit.  I want to start crocheting again and make blankets for my kids.  Nobody got back to me the other day on sending extra hours in the day to me.  Hello?  Anyone out there?

4.  I love to travel.  Perhaps this was instilled early on as my Dad held every position on the ground with Delta Airlines.  I love the smell of jet fuel, walking through the airport, take off, flying through the clouds and over crop circles, landing, meeting friends and family outside of baggage claim.  I love that I still have flight privileges through my Dad and can fly (easily, at least by myself) at reduced rates if I fly stand by.  I also love road trips and will choose that whenever I can and it won't eat up more than 40% of the vacation time I have allotted.

5.  I used to be an avid reader, oftentimes in the middle of 10-12 books at a time.  I could pick up any one of those books and immediately start reading where I left off without scanning and remember exactly what was happening.  I'm lucky to finish two books a year now.  I think that speaks to how much time I have alone (it is impossible to read to myself when any other member of my family is around.  they all find reasons to speak to me and ask questions).

6.  I use a curling iron maybe once every five years.  It normally gets pulled out when there is a wedding to attend, but I am debating on tossing it as I am coming to the realization that if my curls fall out within the first hour it is just not worth the extra effort.  I use hair spray on an even fewer/farther between basis.

7.  My Mom instilled in me the belief that I can do anything if I put my mind to it.  I have no doubt that I can learn everything I want about photography (it was just unusual to have that little panic attack last week about meeting people and whether or not I was really qualified to be in the workshop) and become successful at it.  There isn't much that I haven't tried to build with my hands, from bookshelves to a 12 foot shed in our backyard.  I hope that I am able to pass that on to my own children.

Feel free to nominate yourself and play along.  Come back and let me know if you did!

Annual Review

I just had mine at work and it went well.  Today is my three year anniversary with Etsy, so I thought I'd go over my accomplishments and struggles before asking for feedback from you all.  And this happens to be my 400th KBS post.  Wow!

Even though I opened my Etsy shop on February 15th, 2008, I didn't get my first sale until March 26th.  My friend Cassie scooped up some nuggets.  I think she felt sorry for me that I hadn't had any sales yet.  And she was the reason why I started selling on Etsy in the first place.  Some pieces of jewelry I had made and other beads sold, but it wasn't until May that I had my first 'real' customer (meaning it was friends or family buying pieces to help improve my rating and my sales #s).  In June, Lorelei bought some beads from me.  I was new to Etsy and hadn't started following blogs yet, so I had no clue what a massive following she had or how successful she was at making/selling jewelry.  I was just thrilled to have a new customer.  Little did I know that she would become one of my best friends, which is really so much more valuable to me than all of my sales combined.

My Etsy business slowly grew, as did my photography abilities.  Looking back, I wonder what I was thinking using the lighting I did or the backgrounds I chose.  I think I have come far in some aspects.  But others, I don't feel or see the growth.  So many of my bead designs are the same.  I like spirals and waves and swirls and have consistently stuck with those over the years in making new beads.  Something about the way the rod of glass moves in and out of the flame to make those waves and swirls is so calming for me.  I'm always a little take aback when someone says that my beads are getting so much better or so much cooler.  I'm stuck in my own mindset of doing what I do.  I'm just melting glass, like I have for the last five years.  Perhaps the novelty has worn off a little?  Or perhaps I have nothing to compare my work to because I follow so few other lampworkers (the ones I do follow all have their own styles that are much different from my own)?  I don't know, but I am always thankful for the compliments.

Over the last year, I branched out and tried new things.  My eggs were in phenomenal demand (I am still in awe of how many weeks people patiently waited to get some of their own).  I started making headpins.  And buttons.  Which makes me wonder, what will I do this year that is new?  Perhaps a twist on my buttons.  I have some ideas brewing, but haven't put them into effect yet.

Over the last six months, my focal bead sales have increased.  As a result, I have started making more of those.  Those sales continually surprise me because some of them are expensive (at least in my opinion).  I suppose all of my sales surprise me, but that is more because I'm just not a true beader.  And the sales are constant reinforcement that people like my work, which is so wonderful in itself.

I need to make more worry stones this year.  I'm out of all of them right now and don't even have a spare to keep in my pocket.  Worry stones make me happy.  My torch time over the last year has been more limited, so I have not devoted as much time to worry stones since they take me upwards of 30 minutes each to make.  Honestly, I've got bills to pay and have focused on making sets of beads that are more likely to sell faster than the worry stones.  Maybe this will be the year those two factors change for me.  We'll see.

As far as blogging, I feel I've been pretty scattered.  Some weeks, I'm on a roll and diligent about posting and setting up posts in advance.  Other weeks are spent flying by the seat of my pants, with days passing between posts.  I'm pretty sure the number of pics of my kids have increased over this last year, but you have stuck with me through them all.  I apologize to those of you are here strictly for the beads, but do appreciate the fact you are good, kind people and keep coming back to check in.  I think my number of random posts has also increased, which says something about the state of my mind and lack of focus or planning.  Whaddya think, is it part of my charm?  :)

Many of the blogs I follow, I follow because I'm more interested in getting to know the blogger and what they do in their day-to-day lives moreso than the beads/jewelry they are creating.  Sometimes I tend to zone out a little on the bead/jewelry paragraphs (it feels a little like work to me and I admit I just don't feel I fit in as a jewelry designer) and scan for the tidbits about personal lives, pets and kids or even vacations.  I feel safe with you all, being able to share bits and pieces of my personal life with you on my blog.  Thank you for that.

I have struggled to keep my torch top clean and organized, but am pleased I am keeping my glass cabinet neat and tidy.  I don't think either one of these things will change.  I have struggled with setting time commitments on when I will finish custom orders, which leaves me wondering what do I need to do to change that going forward.  Buckle down and just meet the commitments?  Or be better about adding a disclaimer about when I will have beads cleaned and photographed for approval.  At some point, I know it will no longer be okay to hope people will understand.

This past month, I have felt like I am on the slow climb of the first roller coaster hill.  I am filled with anticipation for this new year.  New plans are in the works to push me on a different path, but it is without a timeline on the events.  I feel like I'm wearing a blindfold on this roller coaster and have no clue how many more little clicks and ratchets I will hear before I reach the top.  There is no one sitting shotgun to whisper in my ear that it's just another breath or two away before plummeting down the hill at breakneck speed.  I am excited and a little bit terrified.

One of my beads was included in the book Chainstyle (and on the cover, no less!) and others were included in magazine publications when other jewelry designers incorporated my beads into their work.  That was a major thrill being able to walk into my grocery store or book store and pull out a beading magazine and see my beads.  My own dash with a little celebrity.  ;)  I also paid for an advertisement in the Artisan's Village section of BeadStyle magazine last year.  That was pretty cool, but I have no way of knowing if that really brought me any new business.  I have heard that some of my beads are featured in Lorelei's jewelry designs in the new book Wire Style 2.  Now I have to buy myself a copy!

So that is as far as my brain is stretching right now on my lampwork and blogging.  If you have new ideas on things I could do better or differently, I would love to hear what you have to say.  It is national de-lurking month, after all.  ;)

Honesty, Inspiration and Celebration of Self

Or more appropriately named.... 

My Thursday Ramblings.

Honesty and integrity are extremely important to me.

Both in my personal and professional life.  

I can't stand dishonesty.  

I lose sleep over it.  

It makes me rat myself out to friends sometimes, when I'm planning a surprise for them.

Tabitha, please don't hit me too hard when we go rafting at the end of this month, ok?

And it also makes me do things like remove people from the eggs list who blatantly and bead-for-bead copied the work of other jewelry designers.  On multiple pieces.

I struggled with this.  I never want to say "No" to a customer.

I'm not good at saying No.

I know it is not my place to judge others or their actions.  I try very hard to understand others' perspectives and what it is like to be in their shoes.  But I couldn't on this.  So I removed the name and sent an email to the person about why I did this, apologized for not following through on the custom order and hoped that s/he would understand.

This generated a big discussion at our dinner table with the family.  We talked about cheaters in school and that when you work really hard to learn different concepts, it's not really fair for others to be allowed to copy your work and get the same nice grades.  When we talked about this, it was interesting to see the change in my kids' facial expressions as they grasped this concept.  And they agreed as they thought about all their hard work these last two weeks practicing spelling words.

Which leads to the topic of copying and integrity in the beading and jewelry world.  On the beading side, I am always always always happy to try new techniques and be challenged with custom requests.  I haven't yet called Uncle in the attempt to get things right, although I have come close a time or two.  I love when people email me with descriptions of what they want....this color with these kind of stripes, or encase this, oooh, but can you add that?  LOVE it. 

That being said, I would prefer to not receive pictures of other lampworkers beads to see if I can make the same.  Yes, it is a fun personal challenge to see if I can teach myself different techniques without a tutorial.  But that wouldn't be right for me to then sell those beads.  Not if I didn't change it up and make it my own.  Granted, there are basic bead designs that are well, just basic.  If I'm encasing a small bead in tons of clear, there's really not much I can do to differentiate it from other lampworkers encased beads.  But still.  I am betting you understand what I am saying.

Erin Prais-Hintz of Tesori Trovati wrote an absolutely fantastic post about how you let yourself be influenced.  If you have more than a minute, I would highly recommend clicking over to read her contemplations and conclusions on this.  She warns you at the start to grab a cup of coffee before you sit down to read.  It is very thought provoking about inspiration and how you run with that inspiration.  She included this quote, which I love:

"It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation."
~ Herman Melville

There is also a post written by Kerry Bogert of KABs Concepts about where inspiration takes you after learning the techniques of other artists.  She is celebrating her Totally Twisted Flickr group and the designs from others using her techniques.  Many wonderful creations and none of them are copies.

And while I have you clicking all over the place...check out what Lori Anderson of Pretty Things wrote.  She discusses celebrating yourself.  For who you are and not wasting time/days wishing that you were as good as someone else.  It made me think about appearances in that some of us may seem more blessed than others.  Some have it easier than others.  Some are prettier, more talented, wealthier (as if these should ever be a basis for determining sense of worth or value as individuals), smarter or who has more legos than others.  Or who has a Little Horse and who doesn't.  ;) But we don't know what those seemingly more fortunate people have been through on a daily basis or in their past.  

I don't think that you guys truly need any of these reminders because I am totally convinced I have THE best people who come to my blog to visit with me.  You guys are so wonderfully kind.  And encouraging.  I wish I knew all of you in real life.  That you could sit in my kitchen and share a dinner with my family before taking you to my studio and making one bead before pushing you to sit at the other torch and try making one yourself.  But I need these reminders some times.  

The duck on the pond looks so calm and serene, but underneath the surface those feet are paddling like heck to move it forward and away from its past.  Some of us are unemployed, battle daily migraines, are the crisis managers for supporting families and friends through heart attacks and suicides, contend with multiple sclerosis, juggle work and family as single parents, cope with fear as our children are overseas either with the military or just continuing education.  

So with that, I embrace my own challenges and pray I don't collect more along the way.  I will celebrate being me and focus on my own strengths.  My own challenges and battles?  Well, at least they are familiar and I know how to deal with them.  :)

All of the beads in the pics on this post are in my Etsy shop if you liked what you saw.  Some were added just last night and others are waiting to find out what they will be when they grow up.  If you missed my post from LATE last night, go back and look at more pics of these lovely cobalt blue eggs here.

Aaaaaaand, one last thing...

Kristi/DreamSome Designs has a couple dozen of my raku beads that she's working with now.  You can see her current project and read a bit of a tease about my raku beads, but will have to stay tuned to see what she does with them and how they grow up.

How To on Blog Comments and Getting Replies

Did you know that many bloggers would reply individually to you via email if your address showed up in the comment notification email?  They would.  Or, they should.  Some times.  Whatever.  

Most of us who blog LOVE to get comments.  It's nice reinforcement that other people get us.  They dig our work or our words.  Or that there are even people out there reading our blogs.  Some times I used to feel like there were always crickets chirping in the background.  Now I feel the love, but it took time to grow my blog.  To establish the relationships.  For you all to get to know me.  I understand.  I'm not the coolest blogger out there and some times my blog does wander from beads to family/kids and I get that there are some of you who are not at all interested in kids.  You're all about the beads  (or the vacations, as it seems).  And I'm ok with that.  Seriously.  

Look at all these comments next to each post?  I get butterflies.  You guys make my heart sing.  You really do.

So in case you're interested in getting email replies directly from the blog writer, this is what you need to do.  If you go to your profile page (you should be able to get there from your Dashboard once you login to Blogger), you can click on that blue EDIT PROFILE button over on the top left.

Then you can just click that little box next to: Show my email address.  Scroll down and click the Save Settings button.  That's it.  Now your email address will be in the Sender field to the blog owner of where you left your comment.

This post has been in the back of my mind for quite awhile because I would love to respond to emails if /when I receive comments.  I can't get on my blog during the day (cause I'm workin to pay the bills) and then I don't always remember to go back at night to my posts and reply back to the comments.  You'd think I would remember, since it is normally in the evenings when I am setting up my post for the next day.  Sleep deprivation shows itself in different ways.  But to those of you who have felt neglected, please accept my apologies for my slackness.  I do love hearing from you.

I got nudged into doing this after reading a few other blogs that struck true for me and reminded me of basic courtesy, why some of us blog and then our duty as bloggers to respond.  If you take the time to comment, we really should be taking the time to acknowledge.  Lori Anderson of Pretty Things discussed kindness here.  Nicki hits the nail on the head here for describing the feelings of worthiness that comments generate and discerning the difference between true blog followers and those that followed just to jump through a giveaway hoop.  And Barbara eloquently covers blogging responsibilities and the motivation behind blogging here. 

Last night I alluded to a giveaway coming soon for one of my lucky blog followers.  That goes along with the above reasoning that I want to surprise one of my loyal followers or friends who comes to my blog on a regular basis.  While it IS good publicity to get a giveaway out on twitter and it DOES generate gobs of traffic to the blog, it doesn't necessarily bring the people who share common interests or would want to be friends with me.  Who are genuinely interested in what I have to say or the processes I go through to make the beads.  That can be good for generating traffic to my etsy shop and possibly lead to sales and the original purpose of my blog was to promote my beads business.  

But my purpose has shifted and what I have come to realize over this last year of blogging is that the friendships I have gained from my blog are more meaningful to me than the bead sales.  The feedback and comments you leave for me are what continue to inspire and motivate me.  I have met some of you in person at bead shows (from Atlanta to Philadelphia) and others live practically in my backyard, like Lori Plyler of Waterstone.  Others have become personal friends who I keep up with through instant messages, texts and phone calls.  How awesome is that?

New egg pics coming tomorrow!

Your Favorite Blogs!

Here is a list of all of your favorite bloggers from the comments left on my April Fools Giveaway.  I checked out each and every blog, just to make sure the hyperlinks would all work.  Click on the blog name and the hyperlink will take you to it.  Check out all of these blogs.  So many wonderful sites to visit!

Out of 155 comments, Lorelei's blog got 33 votes.  Thirty-three votes!  WOW!!  Go Lorelei!

I sorted the list of blogs with the most votes being at the top and then alphabetically.  The number of votes is in parentheses for multiple mentions.

Lorelei's Blog (33)

Kelley's Beads (7)

Nina Bagley - Ornamental (6)

Kate McKinnon (5)

Art Bead Scene (ABS) (4)

Cerebral Dilettante (4)

A Bead a Day (3)

Daily Art Muse (3)

KAB's Creative Concepts (3)

Pioneer Woman (3)

Silver Parrot (3)

the writing and art of Andrew Thornton (3)

Beading Gem's Journal (2)

Belinda Saville (2)

Julsbeads (2)

Mad Designs - Marcia Decoster (2)

Mes illusions Baroque (2)

One Pretty Thing (2)

Vintaj Natural Brass Co. (2)

(The Customer Is) Not Always Right

adventures in dressmaking

AMMJEWELRY

Ana's Chronicles

Artbeads.com's Blog for Beaders

Artgirl Island

Artisan Beads Plus by MaryAnn Carroll

Attic24

Bead Happily Ever After

Beadwright

Beverly Ash Gilbert

bob's bs - by Bob DeLong

Bodacious Boomer

Café Cartolina

café creativo

Carmi's Art/Life World

Catie's Blue

Celie Fago

Chile Cats

Clover Lane

Cynthia Thornton of Green Girl Studios

DebsCraft

Deerwoman Designs

design*sponge

desire to inspire

Dogmaw Blog

Dooce

Dottie Angel

Dove Designs

Earthenwood Studio Chronicles

Enchanted Revelry

Etsy Treasury Team

Farming on Faith

fleur fatale

French Press Knits

Gaea

Impronte

Jane Thornley

jbarrett5

Jennifer Jangles

Jumping Off the Processed Food Chain One Box at a Time

Juniper Moon Farm

Kathy Van Kleek

Live Wire Jewelry

LLYYNN

Lo and Behold

Magpie Gemstones

mairedodd

Midwest Parents

Miss Fickle Media

Miss Marys Mayhem

Molly and McGee (live owl cam/feed)

Mommy PR

my happy little life

Nesting Place

Noisy Plume

Pacing the Panic Room

Plays With Needles

Polymer Clay Daily

Pretty Things

Purr Prints

Rosa and Josie's

Rosi Jo'

Sand Fibers

Simple Things Small Joys

Skull a Day

Slipcast- The Ceramics Blog

Smitten Kitchen

Something Sublime

Soule Mama

Sue's Beads

Summers Studio

t and h Photography

Three Trees Art

Thy Hand Hath Provided

Time2cre8

Tollipop

TotusMel

Treasures Found: Inspiration is Everywhere

Urban Natural History

Writings of a Gypsy Soul